Elle/LadyHardcore's Blog. No faces allowed.

Jul 26, 2010

Just finished burying Delilah.

It's the worst thing in the world.

I'm so sad. She was too young and I was supposed to have several more years with her.

Every time I walk into the house or go into the kitchen I still expect to see her greeting me. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to her not being there. Worst part is not knowing why.

Rest in Peace Delilah.

Jul 25, 2010

Still really really sad today.

My eyes are all swollen from crying yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything today either. I think I'm allowed one day of doing nothing given the circumstances.

Lucy sat there in the same place looking at her cage again today. This time only for 5 hours. She got really upset when I carried her to my room and closed the door. I couldn't take it anymore, it was too saddening for me to allow her to do it any longer. She keeps looking around the house now in Delilah's favorite spots trying to find her. It tugs on my heart strings.

I know my other animals are feeling it. It makes this whole thing twice as heartbreaking.

Jul 24, 2010

I don't think my eyes have been dry all day.

I am so very sad right to my core right now.

Lucy sat there looking at Delilah's empty cage for over 7 hours. She didn't move an inch.

My house feels empty without her and I wasn't prepared for her to go this young.

It's so unfair. I'm so sorry my sweet little bunny.

It's going to take me a long time to get over this.

I am so heartbroken. Rest in Peace Delilah.

My beautiful cheeky rabbit just died. I thought she was sleeping and I went to wake her and she didn't wake up. She was fine this morning. My home is never going to feel the same without her. I am so sad right now. I don't think anybody could possibly know how much I loved her.

I am so sorry Delilah. I am going to miss you so much.

Jul 23, 2010

Yesterday Morning....

I went to Timmy's for some coffee and I witnessed something that really infuriated and upset me. I'm still thinking about it today and now I'm regretting not saying anything.

So I'm leaving and about to go to the door when I see an older fat fuck ask the Filipino lady who works there if she can wipe off his CLEAN table. She says sure and wipes it off, and he says thanks. She did this in a friendly way with a smile on her face and then went back to what she was doing as she should. As soon as she turns her back he utters a word at her rather loudly: CUNT.

Normally under the circumstances I would have instantaneously started yelling at this stupid piece of shit for a man, but I am sick right now and feeling rather horrible and I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but stop in my place and stare at him with a fucking look of death and utter disgust. I proceeded to walk out the door and around the front with my full on hate daggers until he was out of site. I think he got the message. I don't think he cared.

What on earth did this woman do to deserve to be called that undeservingly? Obviously this guy was some sort of a racist or a bigot.

As far as I am concerned this useless waste of the air we all breathe is a disgrace to this country, and he should be glad I was feeling so weak at the time because I probably would have taken the tray his breakfast was on and beat him to a bloody pulp with it otherwise.

Sad thing is, I was so upset at his blatant display of being a waste of an egg and a sperm I don't think I'm joking when I say I would have done it. I don't think I've felt instantaneous rage like that in a very very very long time.

He better hope to never cross my path. He won't leave with testicles.

Jul 21, 2010

The more I learn...

...the more I thank God I avoided further catastrophe.

I found out who the girl in my dream is. A friend read my blog and knew instantly.

Oh sweetie. I feel so horrible for you becoming the next victim and you will never even know. You're so pretty! You look like a girl I'd like too. Let's hope you're smart and catch on real quick. Poor girl will probably never see it coming.

I will never be that weak again. Valuable lesson learned.

PS: Douchefuck if you're going to "cheat" on somebody - don't do it with a bloody LOUDMOUTH. If it got back to me of all people - unsolicited - think of how fast she is going to find out!

But don't worry. Secret's safe with me. ;)

I'll behave. For now.

Wow! Thanks! Didn't your mommy ever teach you?

Jul 19, 2010

So yesterday was good.

I spent the entire day with Suzanne and Nick. We chilled at West Edmonton Mall and then went and did Nick's hair. By time we got to Clareview the hail was coming down so hard, I got pelted in the head a couple of times pretty decently, and then by time we ran from the train to the bus we were all soaked. It was crazy thunder and lightning out. Going to their house was even worse, the street was pretty much a creek with ankle deep water. I think my shoes are probably still wet. I bleached Nick's hair and made his mohawk purple at the roots and then blue at the tips (but it gradients out). It looked really sweet.

Now everybody has purple and blue hair except me. :(
Oh well. I like the good 'ol red.

It was a really good day and I think we all have to do it again - although next time I want Nick to go on the mindbender!

So as for today: Woke up with a headache. Stepped on a shard of glass and bled everywhere, and realized I'm finally feeling a bit hungry but I have no food in the house. Great start to the day! Really. Why can't I have two good days in a row? Oh, and it is still raining. When will we get summer? I dislike how this year is perpetual winter then Vancouver weather.

Jul 16, 2010

I am seriously sad...

That Poison the Well is calling it quits.

So disappointed and it is such a damn shame.

CBC News - Edmonton - 2nd mutilated cat found in southwest Edmonton

CBC News - Edmonton - 2nd mutilated cat found in southwest Edmonton

So it's happened again. I posted about the first cat found cut in half in the same neighborhood.

If I were the police and the people in this community I would be putting every resource into finding out who did this ASAP.

I'd bet money that this is a psychopathic male between the ages of 11 and 15 who is probably going to start moving away from cats and onto bigger and more human-like things.

Whoever is doing this is seriously disturbed and should not be allowed to be a member of society. This screams serial killer in the making. Somebody has been watching too much Dexter. lol.

Jul 14, 2010

Falling from the sky... day one... you never learned to fly.

Sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Day 100.

I had more weird dreams last night about certain things. It's perplexing as to why. I strongly dislike the mindfuck. I resent even thinking about any of this. I hate dreams that give you that weird haunted feeling.

You have never taken any inspiration in a direction that won't end up the death of you. Do you really think all the saints are just lying... just lying... just lying in their graves?

Why can't you see the bottom?

Jul 13, 2010

Say "YES" to Panda Rape!

Click here.


So good. So true.

I want you to remember this.
Just because I understand, doesn't really mean I care.

The fruit has been tasted and their blood is on your hands.
You won't know the truth soon enough my friend.
Did you think that ended it? Do you really think it's over?
You will have all of the answers soon enough my friend.
You're standing near the edge.

Meridional came out today.

Norma Jean is as amazing as ever. I love that they added a bit more of a mathcore flavor to some of their songs. More technical, slow, and heavy. Also, drop B tuning = oooohhhhhh yes!

In other news...

I am still damp from my unfortunate walk home. I was completely soaked through my jacket by time I reached the LRT station ONE block away from my work. It was raining so hard I may as well have brought out the soap and scrubber and called it a day.

Still can't try out my new lawn mower because of the rain. Grr.

What else? Oh, I had weird dreams last night. It involved a person from my not-so-distant past. It was really strange though, almost like a super bad omen on this person. Like something horrible is going to happen (or recently has) to them - and not the kind of ha-ha karma's a bitch sort of thing. I dunno, when I have dreams like that something always happens. There was a girl in my dream too. She was somehow associated with this person. I don't know who she is though. It puzzles me when I see people I don't know in my dreams, they always reveal themselves to me later on and I get super intense deja-vu. She was shorter... had brownish/reddish curly hair past her shoulders, kinda chubby and had a lime green phone (the phone in the dream represented really bad news). It's bizarre. If I meet her I'll post a picture and say I told you so!

In my heart of hearts I really hope it's just nothing. I may have a sharp tongue, but I care about everybody no matter how much of a reason I have not to. I consider it my greatest weakness in all honesty.

What else? Oh! I got great responses to my article on Empire Building. I am super excited about it and will be doing follow up sometime in the near future.

For my Empire Avenue friends: What do you think of new market makers? I think it's doing nothing but promoting excessive spam and I hope they change their minds on this soon.

Anyways, I guess that's enough for now.

Jul 12, 2010

Jul 11, 2010

Tomorrow is my debut!

On EmpireBuilding.net. I am excited for the opportunity to write for them and I am sure this will be a lot of fun. I have some great ideas in the making and I hope that the audience is as excited about me being there as I am.


More shares now available!

Hi everybody - I now have 2500 more shares available.

I sold out very fast last time so if you were wanting to get shares you will need to do it quick.

Thanks to everybody for their support!

Jul 9, 2010

So it appears as though everything is fine.

This episode of "The Ravine is no Longer on Fire" was brought to you by firefighters and a whole lotta rain.



I think that's the quote of the day. It's good to know what my neighbours are just as attentive as I am too, it makes me feel a bit more secure.. but holy shit did my heart ever race when I saw that smoke. I'm just glad it started down-pouring intensely shortly after we all noticed the smoke - pretty sure without that rain we might be in a different situation.

Let me put it this way:

Lightning + Ravine = Fire
Ravine + Fire = No house in less than 5 minutes.

Thank you to the firefighters who were here so incredibly fast. No word on whether or not it's out yet but I'm not seeing smoke anymore which is a good thing.

I guess we'll find out. Right now = very nervous.

I'll update once we hear anything.

Anyways, now I am sitting here COMPLETELY soaking wet head to toe from the rain. Probably was a stupid thing to go outside in a storm like that but my first thoughts were "Holy Shit", "Call 911!" and "If the fire is close get the animals out now."

Mother nature = one serious bitch.

Jul 8, 2010

It's happened!

I just sold out on Empire Avenue again! 12,500 shares!

Thank you to 21GUNS who bought my last shares (and to everybody who bought me today as well).

I will be buying the next upgrade in a few days. I have to make 15 k more and I don't want to sell the shares I have in you lovely people to do it so I will sit tight for a couple days.

Thanks again!

Before I sell out AGAIN...

I would like to take a look at my standings:

Faceless Army
Influence: 6
Wealth: 8
Population: 6

Top Stocks: 17
Top People Stocks: 16
Best Weekly Investment Layouts: 20
Overall Total Wealth: 27
Overall Total Wealth People: 25
Overall Daily Earnings: 18
Overall Daily Earnings People: 16
Edmonton, Alberta: 8
Vancouver, British Columbia: 2
Entertainment: 1
Music: 3

Not too shabby!

Look at me! Look at me!

Click here to see the article about me on empirebuilding.net!!

Jul 7, 2010

So today was kind of hurty and emotional.

I had super intense muscle spasms starting at 3 am last night. My Achilles tendons were causing my calf muscles to seize. I literally woke up screaming it hurt so badly.

It happens whenever I do too much - like walk too fast, or go up one too many stairs. It sucks so badly.

So I could barely even get out of my bed this morning because every time I even tried to move it would spasm. I ended up staying home and not going to work because I couldn't even effing walk. I deal with pain every day. It's nothing new to me, but this week had been particularly bad for me for some reason. I think trying to use a push lawn mower has a lot to do with it. I hadn't felt this bad in quite a while.

When I was little a doctor made a negligent mistake that is the reason why I have all these problems now. My Dad had brought up this doctor on my facebook wall and I saw a site with a whole bunch of comments from other patients who this doctor (Antonio Preto) has also ruined their lives. It made me cry. It makes me feel so angry that this dick is still practicing medicine with much the same result. How come he still has a license?

Anyways, at least the day will end on a happier note for me. Thanks to my friends on Empire Avenue - Lance in particular. Thanks for making me smile babe and taking my mind off all the other unpleasant crap going on!


Jul 6, 2010

I almost forgot how awesomely true this song is.

Yeah it is you that I remember in that glowing.
It is you that took my first away from me.
It is you I set my standards to... to every walk of life.
I haven't met another you since you were with me.

A brief bout with a razor blade cut me
I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done.

Jul 5, 2010

Tonight I miss Hugh.

I wish I had known that the last thing I said to him was going to be in that text message and that I'd never ever get a reply back or that my last visit with him would be exactly that. I wish I saw him one last time. I miss him. I wish I could hear his sarcastic sense of humour. 4 months but it feels like an eternity.

Rest in peace. I miss you so much and I know that so many other people do as well. I hope you're giving God a hard time for this one.

Jul 4, 2010


I have just sold my 10,000th share on Empire Avenue!

Feels good!

I'll be purchasing the upgrade later on today.

Thank you to everybody who invested in me and who joined the Faceless Army!

Jul 3, 2010

It has been a while since I've posted Empire Avenue Stats:

So since the last time a lot of things with the site have changed, including how their leader boards work. Here goes:

Faceless Army Community:
Influence: 6
Wealth: 14 (because we had just purchased an upgrade).
Population: 6

Now for ratings for myself:
Top Stocks: 30
Top People Stocks: 25
Top Weekly Earners People: 16
Edmonton, Alberta: 10
Vancouver, British Columbia: 3
Entertainment: 1
Music: 4

Not too shabby if I do say so myself!

Jul 1, 2010

New song.

Started writing this about a year and a half ago.. and I started recording it, but I cannot afford a USB interface right now so that's not going so well.

I have a couple of song titles thought out for it. Either "Screwed" or the name of the person this is about. The entire album concept is songs about people who have affected me, good or bad (but mostly bad)... lol... and I was seriously considering being really blunt and actually putting their names in all the song titles. Two of the songs already do (Obsessed with Bethany, and Andrew's song) and that won't be changed.

This particular person would have more than one song about them though so I need to figure that out.

Anyways, sneak peek at the lyrics:

I am completely left in the dark literally...
You left me with no place to sleep - an empty fridge - how can you live with it?

I am completely a stupid fool literally...
...because sometimes intermittently I miss you and that kills me.

I'll be your friend but never again will I fall under the illusion that you could love anything but your penis.

I am completely screwed mentally and physically...
Since you left me it's been lonely - if you miss me come home quickly.

I'll be your friend but never again will I fall under the illusion that you could love anything but your penis.

Nobody should fall under the illusion that you could love anything but your penis... but your penis...

I am completely sure I see you differently.

You know what Creepy McCreeperson?

Obviously you are still checking up on me, so why don't you grow a pair and simply start up a conversation?