Elle/LadyHardcore's Blog. No faces allowed.

Sep 23, 2010


So today was full of all kinds of suck. I'm coming down with what appears to be the office plague and I am stressed to the max at work. I don't understand how some people can be so lazy and ditch their responsibilities on other people.

I'm feeling worn down and eventually I think I'll just end up sitting in my cubicle in tears if this keeps up.

Every branch has 3-4 people doing what I do by myself, and yet I'm dumped with a group additional to my own and they have 3 people who could easily handle the job.

The frustration I feel with this whole scenario is beyond words.

Then I come home and I'm struggling to make ends meet. It's really a slap in the face. I will rise to the occasion like I have for the past year - but at the very least you could pay me what I'm worth.

I don't think people realize exactly how much I've taken on, and how the stress has been literally eating away at me not only when I'm at work, but now in my home life too.

I may be smart and competent but I am not a machine.

I'm taken for granted because I'm nice and I don't feel secure enough to put down my foot and say no.

I don't think any of the people I work with even realize what I have been going through. They've all lived privileged lives. They don't realize that if I had the opportunities that they had all been given I would probably be a trauma surgeon or a volcanologist or a lawyer or a psychologist.

These people don't know that my aptitude test's first result was neurosurgeon, then nuclear physicist then a fucking rocket scientist.

These people don't know that any other person in my shoes right now would fail miserably. It's true. The only other person who is even remotely close to my working situation is on stress leave and has been for months.

I like my job and the people I directly work with. I just hate that when I come home I can't even have a toilet that fucking works. I hate that I only own one pair of pants that I have to wash over and over again every day. I hate that my shoes have holes in them and when it rains my feet are wet and because I don't have proper foot support I am in pain all day. I hate that I have a tooth that hurts and even with my benefits I can't afford to fix it. I hate that I have a car I can't even drive, that I have to carry my groceries and pet food on a bus and then walk a kilometer. I hate that every simple thing I need to do takes the entire day and takes significant effort.

Sorry, but I'm at a point where I need to let it out or it's going to consume me. I don't even have anybody here to talk to.

I'm alone, I'm stressed, I'm struggling. It's all so unnecessary.

I wish somebody, anybody would take their head out of their ass for a minute and try to walk in my shoes.

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