Elle/LadyHardcore's Blog. No faces allowed.

Mar 19, 2011

It's been a while, I know...

Things have been super busy lately and when I get home I just don't have the motivation to post!

So what's up? Lots!

Work has been crazy and the next month or so is going to be a real test of my stress management skills. I'm hoping that I can get through it without freaking out or getting sick.

My brother is coming for a week in May. We're going to System of a Down. I'm really excited to see them play (for the 3rd time) and get all the prep stuff out of the way before he moves in at the beginning of July. He's going to be going to school here, and I've been slowly working on getting his room ready.

This summer is the first time I'll be taking a break in YEARS. I am really looking forward to it, but am apprehensive for when extended family is all together because let's face it - they're nothing but drama. They do nothing but gossip and put people down and fight with one another over the stupidest things. I made a decision about three years ago that I don't want them in my life (with the exception of two of my Aunts) and I have stuck with it. Their stupid as fuck spawn included. I will have to grin and bear it for the couple of days they will also be there. I hope Amy and Mari come so it's not quite so bad. I really really really want to see them. I miss them.

I was going to make a side trip to the coast while I'm there to see a particular boy - however last week he gave me an ultimatum and that just really rubbed me the wrong way. I know that's not his intention and he didn't know I was planning a surprise - but I'm not the type of girl who will be submissive to anybody. For some reason after he mentioned it for the 2nd time it made me come to a realization and made my mind up for me. I'm done. He's changed, I've most certainly changed, and after several years of wanting I'm going to simply put it to rest. Doesn't mean I don't love him, because I do. I always have. Doesn't mean I don't want to be his best friend in the world, because I do, and I always will. Just means that he's suddenly not the priority anymore and we're probably never going to be anything more than what we are. It's sad - but I have compromised so many things in my life. Even though it was something innocent that he said - I just felt like I have so much stress in my life, and so many people and things to be accountable too and he simply can't be one of them. I haven't told him that though. I just keep avoiding it. He's the person I go to in order to get away from the bad things in my life, and when he puts pressure on me it does nothing but make me do the exact opposite of what he wants. Maybe one day when I don't have these stresses in my life I will re-evaluate the situation.

Anyways, that's a glimpse into the past little bit. I'll try and blog again tomorrow maybe - I will definitely post a hockey pool update as I have had a bunch of people message me wanting to know where they stand. Sorry guys. Go Canucks Go!

No comments:

Post a Comment